I have had this story in my head and half written for a few months now. The phrase, "The God Who Sees Me" has been echoing over and over again in my spirit. When I write these stories, it is a fictional representation based on historical reference but also includes some of my own feelings and struggles. I never get tired of reading the timeless stories found in the Bible. His Word is truly living and so very relevant. When I read the story of Hagar back in March, I couldn't help but feel the emotion behind the story in Genesis 16. I began wondering where Hagar came from, what she had dreamed of when she was a young girl and how her current situation probably looked nothing like her dream. Sound familiar? It sure does to me. I ran into a friend the other day at a shop. We had not seen each other for some time and I joked that I was currently working on Plan F. I do that. I cover what I am really feeling with humour. My doctor called me on it a couple of weeks ago when she reminded me of my age and the ever-decreasing chances of having children, but that's a whole other story...
So many of us formulate the perfect plan, the amazing dream for our lives, only to grow up to be an adult and realize that the dream seems impossible and that the reality of life in this fallen world crushes and steals so many of our dreams. I am currently walking through such a desert place where it appears useless to hold onto those things I dreamed of. I find myself thinking negatively about the future and have allowed some of those thoughts to surface in spoken form, for it seems I could not be living further from what I always dreamed of.
In the middle of all of this, God keeps whispering, "I am the God who sees you." Right now, all I can do is hold on to those words. I am not forgotten.
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